Dealing with your fears as a leader

by | Jul 30, 2019 | Blogs, Inner Strength, leadership

Being a leader…

The face of your brand…

The person on stage…

The head of the company…

On the front cover…

Is an incredible privilege and dream come true 😍

But when I first received what I had worked so hard for…

I found myself feeling lonely, isolated … and increasingly fearful and unhappy.

My personal leadership challenge

I was plagued with self doubts, worries and would always focus on the negatives in everything.

Even when everything was going great …I found something that wasn’t.

It’s much easier to look back at those times now and laugh at my inexperience as a leader and to see it as part of the fun journey it is…

But trust me back then it was everything else but fun 😅

I was in pain…

I was suffering…

I had been taught to be a leader, take responsibility and always set a good example for others.

To share my positive energy…

To have a good attitude…

But I had no idea what to do with all my shit 💩

I didn’t know where to direct my fears, insecurities and all the other fun negative emotions we all get to experience…

Plus to make matters worse I continuously judged myself for not dealing with them better 😵

I knew I couldn’t unleash them onto my people or onto my customers…that’s not what leaders do…

But what do you do with all the negative energy?

Well I just kept pushing it down, ignoring it, pretending it wasn’t there.

I’d be terrified in my own head, drained and anxious while at home…

But no one would have known while I was at the office or talking to customers

I would pretend so well I even convinced myself!

While I was “on” in my leader role I felt great…

But as soon as I was at home just left with myself all my fears and negativity rushed back to me like a ton of bricks…

As you can guess this tactic only went well for so long 😂

It blew up in my face sooner rather than later!

Avoid my mistakes

So let me give you a shortcut that took me a long time to figure out:

A leader might be alone at the top…

But that doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely or do it all by yourself

In fact if you do, it’s the quickest way to find yourself where I did…

Which is burnt out and having to pull a “phoenix from the ashes” stunt 😜

And as I was reassembling myself again I created this cool little tool I want to share with you.

It’s super simple but incredibly effective if you use it consistently!

I put it in a worksheet for you so you can simply download it here 😍

See I realised we all have different roles in life.

And they all fall into one of these 3 categories:

Leadership roles: We’re the leader

Peer roles: We’re part of a peer group

Mentee roles: We are being supported/helped/lead by a mentor

The first thing we want to look at is our leadership role:

The more positive energy we bring to it…

The more positive the impact we’ll have.

So the first thing you want to do is to visualise what being a great leader looks like to you.

You want to go into as much detail as possible with this and have fun with it!

The next part is looking at the other 2 groups and mapping out a way that best supports you to continuously grow as a leader…

If you look at the most successful people in the world across all fields you find a supportive team is absolutely essential to their success.

From supportive family, friends, fans, employees, coaches, managers, colleagues, teams…

Having the right people around you is incredibly important if we want to lead in the best way possible.

This is where you want to use your peer groups and mentors wisely.

So brainstorm different ways on how you can:

A) Use your peers and mentors to create positive experiences and feelings to support your role as a leader

B) How you can use them to recycle your negative emotions, fears and insecurities into positive ones

And as you go through these remember:

There is no right or wrong way in doing this…only the way that works for YOU!

It’s crucial in Leadership to manage your own energy and how you feel.

So play with this, experiment and have fun! 🤩

And grab your free worksheet here if you want to have it for keeps ❤️

And share with me in the comments how you go and what you discovered!

Any questions fire away always happy to help 😍